The Uncomfortable Gift of Failure
What if the most valuable thing you can give a child isn’t praise, protection, or the perfect educational toy — but the experience of failing? It sounds counterintuitive. Most parents spend their days trying to shield kids from frustration, disappointment, and the sting of getting something wrong.
Yet by swooping in at the first sign of struggle, we might be robbing them of something crucial. The very skills they’ll need to thrive in a world reshaped by artificial intelligence — curiosity, judgment, perseverance — are often forged in the messy moments when things don’t work out.
This idea took center stage in a recent conversation I had with Rachele Harmuth, Chief Product Officer at CrunchLabs, the education company founded by former NASA engineer and YouTube star Mark Rober. We talked about how to prepare kids for a future that’s impossible to predict.
AI Changes What Kids Need to Learn
For generations, education has been about accumulating knowledge. Memorize the dates, learn the formulas, master the coding language. The assumption was that these skills would translate into a career. That assumption is crumbling.
AI can now recall facts, execute processes, and even write code faster than any human. So what’s left for our children to learn? The answer, Harmuth argues, isn’t a new set of technical skills. It’s a different way of approaching problems.
By the time today’s eight-year-olds enter the workforce, the technology around them will be almost unrecognizable. Trying to guess which specific skills will be valuable is a fool’s errand. A better investment is teaching them how to think.
Think Like an Engineer
CrunchLabs boils this down to a simple mantra: “Think like an engineer.” This doesn’t mean every kid should build bridges or work for NASA. It’s about a mindset — a process for tackling the unknown.
- Define what you’re trying to accomplish.
- Brainstorm possible solutions.
- Test one.
- Figure out what went wrong.
- Adjust and try again.
This process is the foundation of curiosity and creative confidence. And at its heart lies something that makes most adults deeply uncomfortable: embracing failure.
Making Failure Less Threatening
Why is failure so scary for kids? Harmuth made a brilliant observation during our talk. Kids already understand the value of failing when they play video games. Nobody picks up a controller and expects to beat a hard level on the first try. You die, you restart, you learn the pattern, you try again. A failed attempt isn’t a judgment on your character. It’s just how you learn to play.
But step into the physical world, and the reaction changes. A drawing doesn’t look right, and a child declares they’re bad at art. A bike falls over, and suddenly they’re not athletic. A build fails, and the conclusion is “I can’t do this.” The problem isn’t the failure. It’s the meaning we attach to it.
Mark Rober’s videos are a masterclass in counteracting this. He shows off incredible inventions, but he also shows the failed prototypes and dead ends. The willingness to display imperfection is part of what makes engineering feel accessible to kids. It normalizes the struggle.
CrunchLabs applies this philosophy across its products. The Build Box introduces younger kids to hands-on physics. The Hack Pack lets older kids dive into robotics. Even the CrunchLabs Mysteries books turn reading into a hands-on STEM adventure where kids must solve puzzles and build devices to progress. The formats differ, but the lesson is consistent: try, fail, learn, adjust, repeat.
Resilience Is a Teachable Skill
My favorite part of the conversation was Harmuth’s take on resilience. We often treat it as an innate trait — you’re either born with grit or you’re not. Harmuth disagrees. She sees resilience as a muscle, built from specific, learnable skills: problem-solving, perseverance, and adaptability.
The good news? You don’t need to buy a fancy STEM kit to build this muscle. A child learning a skateboard trick, struggling with a piano piece, or trying to build a backyard fort is doing the same mental heavy lifting as a kid working on an engineering project. Something doesn’t work. They have to figure out why, make an adjustment, and decide what to try next.
This habit becomes even more vital as AI gets better at generating answers. The ability to recall information will be less valuable than the ability to ask the right questions, evaluate an answer’s logic, and figure out what to do when there’s no obvious solution.
Skills for a Future We Can’t Predict
Let’s be honest: none of us know which careers will thrive in 2040. Many jobs today’s kids will have don’t exist yet. Two decades ago, “YouTube creator” wasn’t a plausible career aspiration. Today, it’s a dream job for millions.
Preparing a child for one specific version of the future is a losing bet. Preparing them with portable skills — curiosity, judgment, problem-solving, perseverance — is a much safer wager. These traits serve an engineer, an artist, a teacher, or someone in a profession we haven’t even named yet.
Years ago, I bought a CrunchLabs Build Box for my granddaughter. I remember the frustration when a project didn’t come together perfectly on the first try. Looking back, I suspect those failed attempts were at least as valuable as the finished product. Getting the answer right was only part of the experience. Learning how to get there mattered more.
Parents naturally want to fix things. We see frustration and want to make it disappear. Sometimes that’s exactly what a child needs. But other times, giving them the space to struggle for a little longer is the more valuable response. It’s how they learn that they can handle it.
We can’t prepare our children for every problem they’ll face. But we can help them become better at working through problems. Even if they never become engineers, learning to think like one might be the most useful gift we give them.